How to Prepare for a Buddhist Funeral

Knowing the Proper Etiquette and Customs according to Buddhist Tradition

Although losing a loved one is unfortunately a universal experience we all must deal with at some point in our life, there are distinct funeral customs that are observed for each religion. In this article, we’ll explore the ceremonies that take place at a Buddhist funeral as well as the proper etiquette for attending one:

• In the Buddhist faith, followers believe in the reincarnation of the spirit, making this religion uniquely different from other belief systems (such as Judaism or Christian-based religions). At a Buddhist funeral ceremony, the main focus is on meditation, sharing and good conduct. It is also important to note that just like Christianity, Buddhism is not practiced the same in every region – depending on whether the funeral rites follow Japanese, Southeast Asian or western traditions, the ceremony may vary slightly.

• Another significant factor to keep in mind is the customs that precede and follow a Buddhist funeral service. For example, it is inappropriate for non-Buddhists to visit with Buddhist families in mourning before the funeral. However, it is acceptable for a non-Buddhist to visit the home of the bereaved’s family and loved ones once the formal ceremony has ended.

• A Buddhist funeral rite is typically held at a funeral home according to Japanese tradition. Following the Buddhist customs of Southeast Asian countries, there are three individual ceremonies that occur: first, at the home of the bereaved, next, at the funeral home, and finally, either at a temple or again at the home of the deceased.

• Buddhist funerals also require one to dress appropriately according to custom. If the funeral rites are held at a temple, men are required to wear a tie and women, a skirt and blouse; otherwise, casual attire is acceptable. Since you may be sitting on the floor during meditation, it is recommended to wear comfortable garments that allow ease of movement. As a rule of thumb, ‘casual’ should not be misinterpreted as sloppy; if you work in a corporate environment, ‘business casual’ is synonymous with what is acceptable to wear. If you are still uncertain, it’s best to ask family or friends of the bereaved; you may also wish to contact the funeral home director for further guidance.

• There are also several other traditions to keep in mind: while sending floral arrangement or a donation in memory of the deceased is acceptable, sending food to a Buddhist family in mourning is inappropriate. Also, a Buddhist funeral ritual includes an open casket according to the faith, as the body is highly regarded as a vessel of one’s mortal existence on Earth. When attending the funeral, approach the casket and bow slightly in accordance with Buddhist tradition.