Funeral Etiquette and Religious Customs

A Guide to Jewish Burials, Catholic Funerals, Buddhist Funeral Ceremonies, Muslim Funeral Arrangements and More

The loss of a loved one is never easy, no matter what your cultural, religious or personal background may be. However, in each religion, there are certain rules of etiquette that apply when attending or organizing a funeral – from rituals to specific customs, it is important to be aware of these elements when honoring the life of the deceased. This article will review some of the basic funeral traditions and customs of several religions:

• In the Christian faith, it is often customary to keep the body of the deceased at the funeral home for several days. During this time, period, mourners may visit within certain hours for a “viewing” and extend their condolences to the family. Funeral services may be held for immediate family, or open to the public – if the hours and location is listed in the local paper, it is an indication that visitors are welcome to attend the wake. There are many different ways that you may express your sympathy: sending a sympathy or mass card (which may be found at a Catholic church or funeral home); sending a floral arrangement to the funeral parlor or the home of the bereaved’s family is another appropriate gesture. In addition, you might also prefer to send a donation to a charity that the family may have suggested in memory of the deceased. Furthermore, bringing meals to the family immediately following the death of a loved one is also a welcome and appropriate gesture of sympathy.

• In the Jewish religion, it is tradition for the burial to take place immediately after an individual has passed on. Once the funeral service has taken place, relatives and friends mourn for seven days, also known as “sitting Shiva”, at the home of a family member. Unlike Christian traditions, there are no formal announcements to a Jewish funeral, as an invitation is indicative of a celebration and is viewed as disrespectful within the culture. Relatives and friends of the deceased are invited by word of mouth, where they may offer emotional support, prayer and condolences to the family. Following the burial ceremony, the first meal usually includes eggs, bagels and other round foods; according to Jewish tradition, they are symbolic of the circle of life and death. Community members and relatives will bring these meals to mourners as deemed appropriate. However, it is important to note that it is not Jewish custom to bring or send floral arrangements; in lieu of flowers, sending a donation to a charity in memory of the deceased is a more suitable form of condolence.

• According to Islamic tradition, Muslim funeral services typically include a graveside burial ritual. Mourners are expected to extend their condolences to the survivors of the deceased in a humble and respectful way, being careful not to say anything that might

• be viewed as offensive. Excessive or overly demonstrative mourning is also frowned upon in the Islamic faith. Unless the family holds a gathering for food and drink following the services, it is recommended that funeral guests leave once the ceremony has ended. It is also appropriate for friends and relatives to bring food to the home of the bereaved, as well as sending floral arrangements to the funeral parlor or home of the surviving family members.

• Buddhist funerals typically take place within a week after death, and it is appropriate for relatives and family friends to send flowers or make a donation in memory of the deceased. Buddhist funeral ceremonies include an open casket for viewing, where guests are expected to bow towards the deceased in accordance with custom. Friends and loved ones may call the home of the deceased’s family after the funeral service has taken place, but not before.

• In the Hindu religion, funeral services are typically arranged within 24 hours of the death. Relatives, friends and loved ones may call on the family at home, where the deceased’s body is usually kept until the cremation ceremony is held. If the family receives flowers from mourners, they are placed at the feet of the departed. Tradition allows guests to visit the family after the funeral ceremony, and it is customary to offer gifts of fruit.